Category Archives: Goals

On The Spiraling Wheel Of Life or A Tale Of To Everything Turn, Turn, Turn

Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn’t stop for anybody.
Stephen Chbosky

For the past few weeks I’ve been suffering from writer’s block; why, I don’t know.  It seems that every time I sat down and tried to write, nothing would gel.  I knew the block was from within and yet, I couldn’t dissolve it.  Today, I woke up brimming with ideas. It was like dozens of voices pulling at me to get their story out.  Whew.  Now the struggle is which to blog on first …

I’m still searching for a full time job, hanging in there daily for my family, and putting in hours of work every day into myself, my health, my blog, and working on creating real change, and yet I still feel like I have nothing to show for my efforts.

The hours I’ve been putting into my inner work, spiritual practices and creative work have taken time away from the time I spend with my friends, family, myself. My friends tell me our relationships have suffered as I work on myself.  Distant relatives have attacked me for writing a blog telling me I’m self-absorbed.  Others say I’ve put them on the back burner while I work in hopes of pushing through the barriers towards my dreams of making a life I love.  We all to some degree have a fear of change … that pounding in the heart that says: turn back …. but it’s too late for that and change I must.

I am on the brink of something big, yet I can’t help but feel stuck some days. Have I become used to the way I’m living my life that I’m subconsciously avoiding taking the next step? Often I feel I’m working at the speed of a snail while my mind is drawn to things requiring less thought.

Before I started this blog my brain was becoming stagnant and the desire to move forward was in limbo. How could I ever get to where I want to be if I’m just sitting around hoping things will change? It’s like a spell had been cast upon me to stall any movement towards progress in an already slow moving journey.

Then, I remembered that this wasn’t the first time I’d felt this way. I had been in a mind stalling funk in the past. I remembered the last time I felt this way was shortly before I moved from California. I also remembered that not a month after I moved, I began regretting it and the desire to get back to working on myself started to build.

I realized what I needed to do to move forward – I just needed to rest my mind. I needed to take a break from trying to figure things out. I was trying so hard to move forward that I was driving myself crazy. So, I decided to take a week off to completely unplug and think about nothing that had to do with my inner work.

I let all of my emotions out to a close friend of mine; we had a heart felt conversation in which I explained to her that my absence from her life was not her fault, but of my own. I’m not very good at these types of talks, but assured her I was getting back in touch with what mattered. I started paying attention to the small things and began making more time for my friends and family. I needed to find a way to make an adjustment to not only spend the quality time with those who mattered to me most, but work towards my vision of who I was trying to be as well.

Things changed, people changed, and the world went rolling along right outside the window.”
Nicholas Sparks

After this talk, I made two commitments 1) to stop being lazy and start being more productive with my time, and 2) I wanted to find a balance between working on my dreams and also working on building my relationships with the people I love. I began taking 15 minutes or so every night to write down the tasks I would work on the following day. I started making myself accountable to finish those tasks before I could move on to randomly perusing other interests. Without realizing it, I was bringing clarity to the chaos of not knowing. One of the biggest mistakes I had been making was not making a specific plan that led to the end result I was chasing.

To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.
Winston Churchill

So I find myself back in the same mindset I was in several years ago – I need to get unstuck and make new goals, have new visions and make some positive changes.  Yes, I need to make some major changes in my life.  One of the most complicated tasks any of us will face in life is the concept of making the right choice. I realize now every few seconds we have the opportunity to change our lives, our careers, our happiness. By making those changes the lives of many others, some of which we will never meet, will forever be changed as well.

I appreciate the process of self-improvement is far from easy. When you are aware of yourself, it is possible to enjoy this experience and be a better person. If there is one thing I have learned you must actively be engage in your life rather than sitting on the sidelines. If you just observe your life as it passes you by, you are just waiting for the end and not living.

What about you? Do you have a plan to move forward towards the changes you seek in your life? I’d love to hear them.

Thank you all for taking this journey with me and sharing your thoughts and feeling with me.  You have all been an inspiration to me on this journey of change.

Bhole Babaji ki Jai!

On Growing Juicy Golden Apples In The Playground Of My Mind or A Tale of My Adventures With Goal Setting

Recently my friend Tommy posted an excellent video blog for his kids on setting goals. (By-the-way, if don’t know who Tommy is you should.  Tommy is an inspiration to everyone who knows him and has become a valued and trusted friend to me since I moved back to Wisconsin.)  Tommy’s blog reminded me of the importance of goals and that I needed to reevaluate and update my current goals.  I’m a different person now than when I first set those goals.  Goals need to be fluid and transform as the person who made them transforms.  I want to share with you my theory and techniques when practicing goal setting.

I have a list of 5 to 10 goals that range from Health to Relationships to Career to Life. I review and read over these goals every night before bed and every morning when I awaken. Once I complete the 20-minute process of reviewing my goals, I go to sleep and let my subconscious mind absorb my last thoughts (goals) so that it permeates through my brain. With luck, the goals will take over and I’ll visualize and dream of them as they turn into reality. (This of course this all goes for naught if I end up making an 11:00 PM Taco Bell run.) If all works out, I awaken, having had a great night’s sleep with dreams of where I want to see myself in the future. When I wake up, I read my goals all over again.

So what are goals? Goals are ideas I’m fascinated by and want to invite into my life. I find that a lot of the inspiration for my goals comes from reading books. I was first introduced to the concept of goals as an adult when I picked up “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.  “Think and Grow Rich” is credited to creating more of the world’s most successful people than any other book published in history.

Anthony Robbins, the great Motivational Speaker, likes to compare goals to an airplane traveling from New York to Los Angeles. When a pilot programs an airplane to a computer, the goal is to land at a specific location in Los Angeles; the aircraft will fly off course 95% of the way. The programmed destination in the computer corrects the aircraft every time to keep it on track.

Other books I find helpful in terms of setting goals are “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne and “Goals” by Brian Tracy. Byrne describes goals as your thoughts that float into The Universe and then becomes a part of a vibration or frequency that ultimately turns into reality. Tracy’s speaks to how to accomplish your goals faster than you thought possible. The first book that introduced goal setting to most of us is “The Little Engine That Could” by Waty Pipper with the famous line “I think I can, I think I can!” This classic book teaches how to achieve goals from the very basic, yet not an easy task, of setting your mentality to reach the top.

The significance of goal setting is valued more than people think; that’s why books about goal setting are written to target people of all ages. Goals need a great amount of preparation time to take root and much cultivation while they germinate. Once you understand and embrace the concept of goals, you will see, hear an feel it all around you and notice that goal setting is one of the most common exercises of all successful people.

Some Random Thoughts On Goals

  1. Are you conscious about your goals? Are you in control of them? Do you craft them to maximize the outcome?
  2. What is goal setting exactly? Goal setting is like a motto, a hook, or a phrase that’s always on your mind, just like a jingle you’d remember from a commercial. The things you do, say or hear in your everyday life will subconsciously trigger you to act out your goals and move closer to the desired target.
  3. A lot of mental work goes into goal setting, but once you get the hang of it, it will come to you naturally.
  4. Because goals follow you everywhere, and because they are infused in your mind, you need to remain alert about what kind of “goals” you’re feeding yourself. Unfortunately, if you are not aware of it, you can be setting goals that are detrimental to you. Yes, detrimental goals do exist; they just aren’t commonly identified as “goals.” 
  5. The subconscious mind has no filter and it cannot differentiate what is beneficial or detrimental to your life. So if you keep saying to yourself that you “will not succeed” or that you’ll “never find a good paying job“, you are indirectly setting a goal towards failure.
  6. By merely thinking this, a person will sooner or later turn the statement to reality. When it happens and everything seems to be going wrong in life, that person will not realize the reason for this is due to the negative mindset they created that made them receive exactly what they concentrated on; it was their GOAL!
  7. Needless to say, detrimental goals do not have to be set solely from you. You can be a parent setting them on your child, a mate setting them on your wife or husband, or an employer positioning detrimental values to your employees. If the recipients are young, naive, or weak enough, then all they will hear from you is disconcerting; they can also suffer the consequences.

And now back to positive goal setting.

Your goals need to be measurable. Tommy’s goal of taking his wife on a date twice a month is a measurable goal; my goal in regards to losing weight is a measurable goal. I need to know how I’m going to get there.  I need to acknowledge what my motivations are for my goal and why. I then set a date or dates so that I can see the end of the tunnel in order to keep going. Seemingly, this is a lot of information to remember, especially when life throws unexpected things at you here and there. So what do you do? You write it all down.

Write everything down to keep yourself on track:

  1. List 5-8 specific goals you want to accomplish.
  2. Write down the steps you will take to make the accomplishment; envision it; do it.
  3. Keep note of all the benefits that will result out of your goals.
  4. Set the date for when you’d like to accomplishment your goal by.
  5. Review your goals first thing in the morning upon awakening for 20 minutes.
  6. Review your goals again for 20 minutes before going to bed .
  7. When setting goals, set them in a way that everything is worded in a positive way; always look towards success.
  8. Visualize your goals as often as you can during the day.

And there you have it, my formula for goals. I told you at the onset of my starting this blog that wondrous things would be revealed here.  Goals are wondrous things.

Bhole Babaji ki Jai!